Adopt a child or use a surrogate mother: what to choose?

1. 🩺 If a surrogate mother carries your child
2. 🤰 Pitfalls of adoption

Every year an increasing number of couples are diagnozed with "infertility". This is a hard blow to many of them, because most men and women cannot imagine life without children. What to do in this situation? There are several options that will help you to become parents after all: you can adopt a child or use the services of a surrogate mother.

But which one is better? To make a choice, you need to take a closer look at each of them.

If a surrogate mother carries your child

If you choose the use of reproductive technology called surrogate motherhood, then your genetically own child may be born, who is carried by a surrogate mother. This is the main advantage of surrogacy compared with adoption.

A child can be 100% genetically yours if the sperm and egg cell of a man and a woman from a married couple are used for conception. If, in your situation, the woman’s eggs or the husband’s sperm are not suitable for fertilization, then you will be offered donor eggs or sperm. But even if only one parent’s genetic material is used, the child will still be 50% genetically yours.

Today you can find clinics that offer to overcome the diagnosis of "infertility" with the help of surrogate motherhood and other assisted reproductive services. Thus, in Feskov Human Reproduction Group, full-fledged diagnostics of married couples is carried out, egg donors or donor sperm are offered, and there is a large base of surrogate mothers. Moreover, despite the fact that your child will be carried by another woman, you will not remain a bystander. You will be able to closely monitor the progress of pregnancy and the development of your baby, attend childbirth - of course, if you want it.

The use of a surrogate mother implies the in vitro fertilization of the egg. This means that you can take advantage of additional services, such as choosing the sex of your child and choosing a healthy embryo without mutations in the genes. This is a unique opportunity, because in this case you plan in advance who will be born - a boy or a girl, and your child will be born completely healthy without hereditary diseases!

Another plus in favor of surrogate motherhood is the opportunity to get full legal support. In reputable clinics that offer reproductive services, everything is legally required in accordance with legal regulations. In Feskov Human Reproduction Group immediately after delivery, you will be given a birth certificate of your child, which will be recognized in your country and where you will be listed as parents.

Why is surrogate motherhood criticized

Critics of surrogate motherhood mainly rely on two arguments that, according to them, tilt the scales in favor of adoption.

The first argument - the use of surrogacy is not cheap. And indeed it is. At the moment, it is quite an expensive technology, requiring the use of high-tech methods and expensive drugs. But you must admit, the birth of your own child is worth the investment. In addition, adoption, as well as surrogacy, requires financial costs.

Critics of surrogate motherhood say: "There are too many orphans in the world to produce new children in such an ambiguous way as the use of a surrogate mother." At first glance, this statement is true. But if you look at the situation more closely, it turns out that adoption also has its own nuances.

Pitfalls of adoption

Of course, the adoption of a child is a very noble act that can make the world a little bit better, and a childless couple and a lonely baby can become a happy family. But, unfortunately, adoption has its difficulties.

Today, the demand for adoption exceeds the supply tenfold. Those who want to adopt a child will have to stand in line for adoption up to 4-5 years.

When adopting a child, problems may arise from a legal point of view. If the parents are from one country and the child is from another one, then the laws on adoption of both countries are taken into account, and this may become a problem. For example, today in Ukraine adoption by a single man or same-sex couple is almost impossible. A vivid example of this is the story of Elton John, who wanted to adopt a Ukrainian boy, but could not because of the peculiarities of Ukrainian legislation.

In 2009, Elton John visited an orphanage in Makeyevka, where he saw a 14-month-old HIV-infected boy Leva. The singer and his partner, David Furnish, wanted to adopt the child, but they did not succeed because of the formal same-sex marriage, because there is no law in Ukraine that allows adoption in such cases.

So: both adoption and surrogate motherhood have pros and cons. Any of these options will help you fulfill the dream of becoming parents! Which option to choose is up to you. Weigh the pros and cons, ask your heart and take a step towards your dreams!

Authors, contributors:

Anna Salnikova
Lawyer on Reproductive Rights and Policies in the Reproductive Area

published: 20 May 2019
updated   : 02 March 2023

share page with: