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| The birth of a child in the family | |
The birth of a child in the family
Becoming Father and Mother. Bringing Baby into Life 
The birth of a long-awaited baby is a wonderful and joyful event for a husband and wife who have had dreams of becoming a father and mother for a long time. On the other hand, however, having brought a little family member into the world, the newly-fledged parents have to fight through certain troubles. To raise their child properly, the genetic parents who accepted the services of a surrogate mother would have to surmount specific difficulties related to their newly-born baby.
Having learnt of being pregnant, a mother still has from five to eight months, depending on the pregnancy term, to get adapted to her new situation. The very ability of having direct and continuous contacts with a baby to be born allows the would-be mother to accept and become awake to the idea of her parenthood, as well as become ready to the future child-upbringing process. Such a beneficial atmosphere may not be created unless a woman treats adequately her motherhood and related functions.
The father of a child to be born also has to go through the same adaptation process, as long as there exists a steady contact between him and his pregnant wife. In this case, the genetic parents may face a problem of underestimation of their future tasks. Despite a fierce effort that the spouses made to have their baby born, both of them may still be unprepared for their new status. The psychological readiness for parenthood does imply mobilization of every psychophysiologic body system providing for the efficient performance of parental functions.
Generation of the psychological readiness for parenthood is based on the comprehension of the responsibility for a child, as well as construction of the future "parents-child" relationship methods. At this stage, it is deemed very important for the spouses to feel the effect of their emotions they may experience with regard to their forthcoming parenthood. The state of psychological readiness for parenthood has a complex dynamic structure, is expressed as a combination of intellectual, emotional, motivation and volitional qualities of the spouses.
Therefore, it would not suffice to look through different literary Internet to be able to solve every parental problem. Since would-be parents need to acquire essential skills in practice, their are recommended to attend special child care courses. Besides, their presence during ultrasonic scanning procedures and original endeavors to establish a contact with a baby to be born seem advisable. This will assist the parents in accepting the idea of their dream coming true before long.
One should bear in mind at the same time that neither inadequacy of parental feelings nor their excessive and obtrusive manifestation may be accepted. Another surrogate motherhood problem involves hyper care that may be demonstrated by genetic parents from time to time to justify the fact that their child was carried and born by a surrogate mother. Such excessive care is displayed by parents in the form of anxiety to give their children every attention, to protect their sons or daughters even if there exists no real danger, keep their children beside them, "attach" them to any changes of hearts and feelings of their parents, bind children to behave in a certain manner, which is treated as most safe by the parents. In case of hyper care, a child is deprived of a chance to bridge over difficulties, using its own resources.
As a result, the ability to call forth all his or her energy to overcome a hardship is lost by a child who expects help from adults and, above all, from his or her parents. That's how the so called "learned helplessness" (i.e. the conditionally reflex response to any obstacle as being insurmountable) generates gradually. In such cases, care comes to its extreme with the parents taking a firm grip on their children and indulge their every desire. Therefore, try to act with reason and bring the child-upbringing methods into correlation with the reality.
And then your child will grow to become the happiest person!
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